We Are Walking in Honor of Briella. Please Help Us Meet Our Goal.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Day 5 NICU-Mommy has to go home

I can't find a word to describe today, hard just isn't the right one. Daddy still wasn't feeling 100% so Mommy had to say goodbye by herself. I hope she doesn't know that I'm not there all the time now. Coming home to see her nursery was gut wrenching. Seeing all the preemie clothes I had started to get, an how she is no where close to fitting in preemie. She is a micro preemie.
I picked Aubrey up from school. She was so excited to see me & ran to the car. We had dinner together at the kitchen table. We hadn't done that since our anniversary dinner. Then we spent the night snuggling in bed. Mommy passed out while Aubrey played with my hair. When I woke up, I felt horrible. Every single muscle and bone in my body ached. I told Brian I felt like I got hit by a truck. Then I quickly realized that I feel like I gave birth naturally with no pain meds. For the 1st time I am no longer being pushed by adrenaline. I had felt fine, amazingly good even immediately after birth. My endorphins were on a high. For those who haven't been through birth(s), no matter how big/small the child is your body still goes through full labor. Full intensity contractions. I was spared during the 3 minutes of pushing since she was small. Pushing was very equivalent to Aubrey's birth. For me that is the easy part because it is a relief to push, it makes the pain stop. However labor that the body goes through was the same as a full term baby.
Briella was off light therapy today. Her numbers looked decent all day so there weren't any significant changes. When I left her she was doing tummy time & all bundled up. She has resumed feedings today (YAY!!!!) she gets 1ml every 3 hours. I am scared she is going to go through my supply quick & that I won't be able to keep up. My milk STILL hasn't came in. Starting to get nervous. Apparently it's slightly normal since the trauma surrounding birth & due to my body being no where near ready.
Can't wait to see my lil girl tomorrow!!!

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